About Me — Coaching with Allison

For many years, “Is this it?” was my mantra.

Allison Meekins Coach — I used to identify with being a ‘survivor’.

For the first part of my life I showcased my challenging life experiences as trophies of my identity. Over time I became really strong with carrying my big, heavy suitcase of trophies with me everywhere I went. I invested my whole life in building my identity around ‘surviving’ situations, so who was I without that? No clue. That was really scary to face. But I knew that it was time to learn.

Home was never static to me.

Growing up, my family moved around a lot. My mom taught me that wherever you go, the key is to make your space your home. It became a ritual to me; enjoying the process of ‘settling’ into new environments. Whether it be painting my favorite Disney character on the wall or buying a lava lamp in my favorite color, I learned at a young age to surround myself with things that gave me comfort and confirmation of myself.

I began my international ‘life’ when I was 21.

My intention to study in Sweden was to have a ‘fresh start’ after my mom died. Although I enjoyed experiencing a new way of life and culture, I loved being in my dorm room, as it had become my resting & expression place. I continued to push myself forward. The coming years I tried to stay ahead of my past by keeping myself busy and moving. I was a young, independent and strong woman with the world at my fingertips. But sometimes I would feel bursts of anger, frustration and deep loneliness. In the background was a constant, subtle ‘stress’. I was desperately searching for that ‘thing’ that would finally make me feel ‘good’.

Sometimes all we can do is choose to take a step in a new direction.

My turning point was when my suitcase got too heavy.

I had just arrived in The Netherlands, started my first job and began to experience a burnout. Soon after, my Dutch partner and I broke up, and suddenly stability was swept out from beneath me. I had a choice to make - “do I stay in the Netherlands and ‘survive’ this, or do I go back to the US?”

I chose to stay, and my path to healing began.

I was at ground zero. I didn’t know anymore what to do, what I wanted in life, or what I was capable of.

I made my first investment in myself: I hired a Coach

With her help, I began to decompress, and feel again. What I avoided for years began to surface with intensity. I started to get honest and inquisitive with myself: “What is happening right now which is triggering this feeling? Where does it come from? Do I want this?”

Change began to happen within myself.

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Home is where the heart is

I’ve experienced change through two ways:

Changing my environment impacts how I feel/am inside, and
Changing myself on the inside impacts how I engage with my environment.

And I’ve come to believe that one cannot go without the other. Our inner and outer worlds must be congruent in order to be connected; to be home. Whichever path we take, we will always find the other, and that is a beautiful thing.

Regardless of where I’ve been, I know now that home is where I want to be.